


Go Ask Aziraphale

by Supergeek21



Series: Guess the Author Ficlets [5]
Category: Good Omens (Radio), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ambiguous Aziraphale and Crowley Relationship (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Biblical Scripture References (Abrahamic Religions), Blasphemy, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Historical, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supergeek21/pseuds/Supergeek21
Summary: After Crowley goes through his autographed books, Aziraphale reveals his embarrassing role in inspiring another book of the Bible.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Guess the Author Ficlets [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018723
Comments: 22
Kudos: 37
Collections: SOSH - Guess the Author #12 “Saints"





	Go Ask Aziraphale

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SOSH Guess the Author game. The prompt was “Saints.”

“Angel?”

“Yes Dear?” Aziraphale answered, turning to where Crowley was nosing through his cabinet of rare prophecies and bibles.

“Just saw your autographed Revelations scroll here… why is Nutter credited as being the only ‘totally accurate’ prophet when a good chunk of John’s material is dead on… I mean… not all this weird junk about beasts and what not, but a lot of this was really close…”

Aziraphale's eyes went wide and he glanced shamefacedly at his mug of cocoa.

“Ah, yes, well, you see there is a bit of a technicality there I’m afraid,” the angel stammered as Crowley looked on quizzically. “It doesn’t actually count as prophecy if you’re told about it.”

“Told? Y’mean by God?”

“That’s what the humans think…”

“You?!”

”Not in detail! He embellished but… yes. I may have let a few things slip.”

“How?”

“Well…”

** 1st Century A.D., Jerusalem **

Aziraphale nearly choked on his wine as he laughed. “No? Yeshua really said that?”

”He did,” the aging apostle replied with a smile. “People don’t believe my brother had a sense of humor, but he did.”

“I suppose I’m not completely surprised,” Aziraphale said. The Almighty always had liked playing jokes… even if nobody else understood them. It wasn’t shocking Her son inherited the trait.

”You’re a good man Aziraphale,” John said, clapping the angel on the back. “It’s a shame you never met him.”

“Indeed,” they shared a small, sad look before John shook his head as if to clear it.

“This wine is getting to my head,” he said, changing the subject.

“Shall we take our leave then?” Aziraphale asked. It was late but he was enjoying himself.

“No, no, it’s not a bad thing,” John said with a chuckle. “Sometimes I’ve found it gives me the most exciting dreams. I’d swear sometimes they’re visions from God.”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened with interest. _Is that why I’m supposed to watch over him?_

 _  
_ “In fact,” the man added conspiratorially, “if you’d like to order more wine, I have something here that makes it go to your head even faster.”

He pulled a small bundle from his purse and unwrapped it to reveal several small mushrooms.

Aziraphale was intrigued. “Those?”

“Would you like one?”

Aziraphale had always had difficulty turning down new foods. Eagerly he popped a mushroom in his mouth.

\--------————————————————

“I don’t really remember much of the evening clearly after that, but the next day he told me that after we talked, he’d had a ‘revelation from God,’” Aziraphale said with a sheepish look.

“You got ssstoned with St. John and blabbed Heaven’s plans for Armageddon?!”

“Well don’t judge!”

“Not judging! M’jealous! That’s a great story!”

“Well, you went camping with Yeshua for forty days!”

”Yeah, but I couldn’t have gotten in trouble for that!”

“Well thankfully I didn’t. Nobody realized it was me. Apparently, those mushrooms made him see all kinds of things… Upstairs thought it was dumb luck.”

“Can’t believe I didn’t ask this sooner… Any other ‘holy’ figures you’ve partied with and not told me about?”

”Well…”

Crowley cackled. “Spill!”

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane... because drugs.
> 
> Most of this blasphemy was directly inspired by a line in the Good Omens book. Do not blame me. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated 😊
> 
> If you want to see more of my writing please follow me as an author or on social media at [Tumblr](https://supergeek21.tumblr.com/), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/jessiemarie921/), or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/JessieMarie921) for updates on my other stories.


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